I'm starting to blog again. I deleted my other blogs, I'm not entirely sure what was wrong with them because they were made private but it doesn't matter anymore, right?

 Since I found out Tom fancied Kelly I've been really down. It's hard to move on after only a month or so apart. He still isn't over his previous girlfriend Kat, so there's a chance he's not over me yet. What we had wasn't as intense as them though.

 Found out a week or so ago that Kelly likes Tom also. Will they go out, won't they? As Juliette said, it would be pretty out of order to me for her as my friend to go out with my ex only a month after we've broken up. But, Tom's MSN name has changed to "I am Tom's sense of rejection" does this mean that Kelly rejected him? or is it referring to me and Kat breaking up with him even though we both still love him.

 But if I got anything from the relationship it would be that I've grown up, and at the moment I'm just appreciating guys as mates that don't stab you in the back. It does make me wonder if there is any guy alive that won't cheat and lie though.

 I'm too independant. In a relationship guys don't like that, they want you to be dependant on them, after 15 years I've learnt that. It takes me a while to open up to other people so some get the impression I'm not interested when I don't trust them. Then when I finally do, they let me down. I gave up so much for Tom. I had a list of good friends that anted to go out with me. I chose Tom.. I was obsessed with him after all. When I was with him the guys went off me. Now I'm unloved. They hate me for getting with Tom and all of my friends fancied him anyway so their jealousy is just making them say 'I told you so'. Nobody's supporting me.

 I've got over Tom by myself. I've avoided him - much to his dislike. It helps me. Now I just don't want to see him and Kelly together in front of me. Maybe I do still like him a bit, but that's to be expected.

 Why's it so confusing? As I'm in my final year of GCSE's I guess I'll just concentrate on studies... even if I am lonely.